Dear Middle-Aged Morons,

Please stop paying for porn.

No matter how much disposable income you have, there is really no excuse for it. You should stop paying for porn for one or perhaps both of the following two reasons:

A. Porn sucks. It's fake. Stupid. Dehumanizing.

B. Porn is free, easy to find, even somewhat hard to avoid.

Here's the puzzle I can't figure out. How stupid does somebody have to be to pay for something that an 11-year-old could find for free with 2 minutes and an internet connection? And if you're that dumb, how do you manage to make enough money to afford this type of thing in the first place? It's mind-boggling.

Pornography is a 12 billion dollar per year industry in this country alone. But what if it weren't? What if you stopped? What if everyone just stopped paying for it? Well, then they'd have to stop making it. It's a business, and no matter how you look at it, businesses don't thrive if they don't make money. They do not survive. They die.

If you're someone who has devoted time to watching porn, then you may be asking, "Is that a good thing?" The short answer is: Yeah, this would be a very good thing. Try to stay with my logic here.

1. Let's acknowledge the fact that there is enough porn already. It's all been done. And it has a handful of sequels and spin-offs already. Whether or not you liked the first one, Logjammin' #48 is enough logjammin' to last a millennium. Even if (heaven forbid) porn production could not continue, there is enough footage to satisfy any freak in this world.

2. Let us consider the actors. There are two types. The first one is the kind that only comes around once. Luke Ford, a pornography gossip columnist for many years, observed, "Most girls who enter the porn industry do one video and quit. The experience is so painful, horrifying, embarrassing, humiliating for them that they never do it again."

Then there's that second type. You know...the junkies. The ones who need the attention, no matter how degrading a thing they must do to get it. These people are usually morons, have loose morals and looser sphincters, and don't act like real people so much as like depraved sex-hungry addicts. There is a fair chance they struggle to spell their own names about half of the time.

Do you really want to punish some struggling model for making one mistake? Or feed the egos of people addicted to the attention, who no longer care where it comes from?


3. Let's not forget about the advertising. Marketing porn is big business too, and these people will stoop to even lower levels than regular advertisers. A large amount of SPAM is circulated on behalf of porn sites. Banner ads, popup ads, spyware, adware, dialers, you name it...porn sites are one of the top distributors of every variety of malware, often just to serve you ads.

Do you really have money to waste to feed this parasite? Wouldn't it be better spent on your child's education? Or perhaps to help some innocent soul that actually needs it to eat?


I understand that it isn't so easy to just give up a part of your life. And I'm not asking you to give up porn if you're not ready. All I'm asking you to do is to stop paying for it. It's really very simple. Just go online, and don't give out your credit card. That's it. You'll save money and make the world a better place all at the same time.

Many Thanks For Doing Everything I say,
FussyPucker

 

Copyright 2006 FussyPucker.