We need more shit in the US.

 

  1. More books, particularly self-help books.

  2. More television programs, especially talk shows.

  3. More magazines, especially about guns, cars, and bodybuilding.

  4. More movies, especially pornos.

  5. More billboards. How can you have enough billboards? They're full of such useful information.

  6. More newspapers. Back in '92, there were 12000+.

  7. TV sets. Why only one in each room? I want to have one to watch when I'm on my back and another for when I'm on my side...

  8. More Starbucks. One on every corner is not enough. What if I'm stuck in the middle of the street and I need some coffee?

  9. More blogs. "Today, I screwed my girlfriend and then ate Chinese food, and then took a long walk. Life rox, I heart America. hahahahaLOL. I write good."

  10. More social networking sites.

  11. More first-person shooters. Each one is so different from the last.

  12. More personality tests. How else can you understand yourself? It's like they say: "There are only two types of people in this world: those who believe there are two types of people, and..."

  13. More candy. After all, "a whopping 25% of Americans are not yet overweight" (Ed Helms, Daily Show)

  14. More meat, especially pork. Do you realize that Smithfield Foods only killed 27,000,000 pigs last year? That's only enough pork to produce 52 trillion pounds of pig feces. Clearly, these are unacceptably low numbers.

  15. More SPAM. Either kind.

  16. More cars. Some Californians don't even have two!

  17. More radios. No choice of music + Ads = AM/FM Fun.

  18. More cell phones. We should give one to every child at birth plus endless upgrades forever.

  19. More lists.

 

We need distractions from our distractions.

 

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