The Internet - Born Around 1983, Now Dead
The internet really didn't last very long. It was over in
a few years. By the mid-90s, AOL had become the number 1 ISP, ads had started
showing up everywhere, the conversion to its being 90-percent porn and
10-percent information was well underway, corporations were figuring out ways to
make money off it, and people were using stupid catch-phrases to describe it
like "information superhighway."
I have heard of a distant time when the internet didn't suck. It is a legend of
black screens and information sharing, of a time when stupid people weren't
around much (because they couldn't figure out how to use it). I have listened to
older nerds describing a time without all the annoying bells and whistles and
without all the distracting media.
Unfortunately, I missed that era. And this new internet era is about flashy
graphics, marketing, and self-gratifying posts no one will read (oops, that's
me). Anyway, MySpace is pretty much the worst of the worst of our new era. Some
people seem to enjoy making their page damn near impossible to read. Why? It
just gets them off, I figure. Why else?
Recently, Ze Frank of the hilarious bell/whistle Vlog, The Show, started the I
Knows Me Some Ugly MySpace Showdown. While these users have created pages so
hideous that no one could ever unintentionally create them, I have seen a few
that came close.
Today, I voted. And I am proud. Ze's Show is a nice reminder that endings are
also beginnings.
All hail News Corp for completing the job that AOL started. The internet is over. May it rest in peace. Welcome to the Advertisement SuperFuckingHighway. What would you like to buy today?
7/19 Update: The winner of the Myspace Showdown has been announced.
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© 2006 FussyPucker.