Gyms = Dumb Folk Factories
A solicitor outside a local gym recently approached me. He asked me if I would be interested in joining his fine establishment. I said, "No thanks." He asked why not. I explained that I "avoid them like the plague." He then offered me a 30-day membership coupon so I might think about it. And when I say that he offered it, I mean that he shoved it in my face.
I was waiting for a friend outside a local soup and salad buffet, so I was stuck near this solicitor for a while. He made idle chit chat, but never bothered to investigate why I hated gyms so much. Should he have asked, I would have explained the below reasons. He didn't really care; I hate salesmen.Between the repetitive motion, the nasty food, and the bad marketing, you've got a complete profile of a factory designed solely for churning out dumb folks. The most important step to avoiding these folks is to stay out of the gym. "You can reach your goals. I'm living proof.
- Over-musculature is not attractive, but rather looks gross. It's probably unhealthy and it's definitely not sexy. It looks really weird and makes me wonder why anyone would aim for that goal unless they were really insecure about something else.
- Arnold, the poster boy of working out with charm, is a weirdo, not someone with personality. And he's a bad actor.
- Most people at the gym look like they're out of their minds, running in place, making repetitive motions, subjecting themselves to extensive discomfort and enjoying it. It's like they're all masochists, going on about "feeling the burn" and such. I'd offer to make them feel something, but then that's probably what they'd want.
- I don't like watching people's asses moving from the streets. This is not good marketing. Stop it. Seeing machines that encourage people to run/walk in place and think they're getting something done does not sway my opinion.
- Egg and soy protein powders are disgusting. You have to really cover the taste of that crap just to get it down. Worse than that are the people who eat a dozen or so raw eggs a day. Ugh. It's so sickening. The goop is chicken fetus. It's dead chicken goop, prepared raw.
- Lastly, most of the people who frequent these establishments seem to possess a slightly diminished mental capacity when compared to the rest of the general population. And that says something, because the general population isn't so impressive to begin with.
What do you want to be? A wrestler? I'm bigger
where it counts, muscle man.
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