Your Makeup
Is DisgustingAnd Isn't Fooling Anybody
Makeup does nothing to separate attractive people from
the lot. In fact, it only masks
true beauty where it naturally exists. Plus if
you wear it when you meet someone, you will need it in the future to look the
way you did when you met them. You will have to take it off eventually, so why
mislead someone in the first place?
And why are you wearing so much goddamn perfume? If I can
smell your perfume from more than a foot away, I just assume that you're trying
to cover the smell of ass which naturally permeates the air around you. After
all, why else would someone soak oneself in such a disgusting scent? It's
unseemly.
Dying your hair may damage it or cause it to fall out sooner than it otherwise
may have, but folks still do it. They think it will make them look nicer, but
once again they're mistaken. The problem is that your face and hair and body all
naturally match. Together, they make up what you naturally look like. No amount
of dying your hair will change your face or physical build, so you end up
looking weird
unless you just let it be.
And tell me why you spend so much money on your clothes. For $25, that T-shirt
better contain some kind of precious metal. What? It's just for the name
brand? Aagh, what a scam! You pay MORE so you can become a walking advertisement
for their brand. Seriously, doesn't that OFFEND you? They should be paying YOU
for that kind of exposure.
Half the people I know seem to think that spending more money on clothes means
looking better, but to me they all look like chumps who spend too much on their
clothes. I get that you feel better about yourself because you feel that you
look nice, but wouldn't you look and feel even better if you used the money to
buy healthier food? If budget is not a concern, shouldn't you spend that money
to help someone who actually needs it?
$100 for a haircut? Does that include some kind of "happy ending"
you're not telling me about? Maybe that's why it takes so unbelievably long?
Anyway, get over it. There is no point in spending so much on clothes or hair,
because you won't look like a supermodel (unless you already do). I mean, what
percentage of the people you know actually look anything like Victoria's Secret
models? Approximately 0% with a margin of error of about a tenth of a percent.
You can't get plastic surgery to make yourself look like that, and you sure as
hell can't do it with clothing. Not even Victoria's Secret models really look
like they do in there. Have you ever stopped to look at some of the poses they
make? Well...I've studied very carefully, and I can tell you: some of those
poses are so contrived that nobody would ever form such positions were they not
paid to do so.
Most importantly: if you are healthy, you probably
already look fine. That is to say, there is very likely someone beautiful out
there looking for someone who looks just like you. The problem is that you think
you need to change your look to become attractive. This is probably not true,
but you will certainly never know if you keep fussing with your natural
appearance.
The choice is yours: You can trust elaborate marketing schemes designed to make
you dislike yourself, or you can trust me. Most guys I know say the same thing
(or are retards). So please just stop it. Stop doing all these things and the
world will be a better place.
As for me, I have only two wishes when it comes to fashion:
1. I want to be respected enough to wear a bib when I eat, and hear not a word about it except about how much I rule.
2. I want to carry a walking stick to lean on, extend my reach, and fend off stray dogs with.
Someday...
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© 2006 FussyPucker.